“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18 (NIV)
“You better get off your high horse, boy!”
That’s what he said to me. My boss. In anger. In a meeting with my co-workers.
He was president of a manufacturing company I worked for early in my career. I was the company’s information systems manager. We were struggling with a software implementation project and I was showing my frustration with a lack of support from some of the team members.
The pressure was on me to deliver the project successfully. I had started to point the finger at someone by saying something like “But Larry was supposed to…” My boss immediately interrupted me with his “high horse” comment.
Anger shot up inside me. I was ready to explode. Instead, I became defensive, not able to hear anything he or anyone else said after that.
His dressing down was very public. And very embarrassing.
And his words and facial expression are with me still today.
I let pride rule me in that moment. It was a selfish act putting myself—my ego, my needs, my feelings—ahead of the project, the company, the team.
I didn’t like that feeling, nor did I ever want to experience it again. Instead, I made the decision to shake away pride when it started rising up. To no longer put up walls to hide behind. But instead, put people and projects and customers and clients first.
The decision meant that I would from that point forward take my beatings. Just sit and listen and learn the lesson meant for me in that moment.
It was a pivotal decision in my career.
In a short two years I went from failing as an IS Manager to a Director of Technology of a small company. And in two more years to a Director of Technology for a large national company. And soon after to a Chief Information Officer.
There were certainly other aspects that contributed to these advancements into larger and larger leadership positions, but none was more important than burying my pride.
Here’s the damage pride brings:
- No one will trust us or follow us, because we continually put ourselves first
- We become arrogant and uncaring, because we won’t hear others
- We won’t allow others to learn or grow, because we don’t allow ourselves to learn and grow
When we allow our pride to fall away and simply “take our beatings” we become authentic, we become human. And this builds trust. And trust builds followers.
Pride truly does come before a fall, and for me, it was from a very high horse. I could have chosen to let my pride win by getting back up on my high horse and staying there, but instead I chose to humble myself so that I could hear others, learn, and grow.
Have you ever felt that wall of pride? Did you like it? Is pride preventing you from being a better leader? Is it preventing you from learning and growing? Do you ever feel as if you’re putting up walls to keep someone out? To avoid a difficult conversation? To not hear something you need to hear? Have you ever allowed yourself to sit and “take a beating” that maybe you need to take?
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